Over the past week, California and surrounding states have experienced a sharp increase in unemployment claims filed by Clairvoyants due to the inability to work caused by the sudden and overwhelming expanse of Charlie Sheen's aura.
Psychic's claim the ability to read the thier client's aura have been directly impacted by Mr. Sheen's crushing deluge of increased aura output. Life long Psychic expert and advisor, "Aqua Star," had this to say: "Each time I give clients a reading of thier current aura, I'm partially blinded by Mr. Sheen's aura output. It gets so confusing. I told my last client her emotional aura was calm and full of Tiger Blood. The magintude of Mr. Sheen's aura is something we've never seen before."
The intense aura energy emitting from his California residence are being felt as far east as Colorado. As a result of his abnormal aura output, the ongoing incident has been dubbed within the paranormal community as "Charlie's Shine".
However, not everyone in the Clairvoyant community viewed Sheen's extended aura output as a negative event. One noted Clairvoyant, Iseen Delite, viewed it as an opportunity and had this to say. "There's no telling what we can learn from this; we have never had a chance to study an aura of this intensity before. It's like the frink'in Northern Lights! It even makes a sound if you listen to it on a quiet night."
Adding even more interest, recent measurements of Mr. Sheen's Aura indicate it is continuing to grow. While this has caused Clairvoyants in neighboring states alarm, Iseen Delite pointed out it's not just a ground level event. "Think of Mr. Sheen's Aura as a cone, or a Dunce Hat if you will. As it continues to grow, the point of the Aura is coming close to penetrating the Outer Atmosphere. Oddly, or perhaps not, the Aura cone tip apprears to be pointed directly at Mars."
We'll have more on the story as it unfolds.
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